Hard workout needed

I almost feel embarrassed writing this: it's been almost two months since I had a workout other than walking. And I am in need of getting back into the swing of things. I'm an emotional mess. You see, working out for me isn't just a way to keep in shape. It's my therapy. No lie. If I don't workout I end up way, way down. It's definitely my way of not having to take depression meds. And right now, I either have to get my ass moving or go to the doctor and I prefer the former.

I did go to the gym yesterday. I started out on the treadmill at a very slow pace because I really don't want to push it too hard. I'm not going by my heart rate, just by how I feel. And I don't know if it's being pregnant or not having run in almost two months, but my legs were itching like crazy. Holy hell!!! I've had this happen before but only when it's super cold out. I actually had to run to the bathroom so I could scratch like crazy because I was going nuts! But after almost two miles I got a call from the kids center. Jackson peed himself. It was my fault. We only recently did potty training and I should have put him in a diaper. Grr!!

So I am off for some time on the rower. It's all I have for the moment while the boy sleeps. He has totally been testing me today. And I have flown off the handle a couple times. I don't like it and I know it's because I am not working out. I need a good, hard run and I can't, so I am really hoping that rowing works. I remain hopeful, but a run is usually all that really works to bring my spirits up. All I know is I need to find something or these next 6 months will be very, very long :-).